Illusive…

I’m terribly afraid of something, words cannot describe… lest there’s a feeling.

It overwhelms me all at once, like the tide ….and among the fury of its waves, I drown… somewhat hopelessly.

I feel its fight, to the core… using every bit of strength I have…

I find a million different flaws to halt me and a million and one reasons more…

And amidst moments of some unknown to me emotion …of utter weakness,

I curl up next to him …into nothing …and feel endlessly.

…and then awaken to gusts of cold wind that blow through me.

I think back to all the others I’ve pushed away. This same way.

I wonder if the lesson here is to fall…

or if the ability to escape, unscathed, deserves applause.

For in the end, this heart, while battered, is not a heart at all…

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