Delusions of an endorphant…

February 8, 2011 § 2 Comments

Tomorrow I’m off to Riga, but today my head is in the clouds.

The sun is shining amid a crisp morning –  like I’ve never seen it shine before –  and the smell of his cologne still lingers on my day old clothing…

I finally dragged myself out to a laundromat to force some semblance of productivity …and so I sit here among the subtle drone of my spin cycle… contemplating.

How on earth I got here… chemicals are a lovely thing, aren’t they?

Last night I felt myself melt a little…. a giggle too loud, a smile too wide… oh, how i love those eyes…

… i even got my chunks back… and the ground felt a little less real, and the future a little less clear… and life, a little less planned.

Who would have ever thought I’d find myself in the arms of a racists skinhead…. probably as far fetched as the time I fell for the catholic republican? …the untraveled,  staunch scientist? or the pseudo-tryst with the extreme Muslim? I am a sucker for the different, aren’t i. …a tad far from my Kucinich kumbaya days…  This one, tattooed, scarred and indiscretion-ed… and that I would travel half way across the world to fall for it.

Secretly though, I prepare myself for tomorrow to feel more like yesterday, but today, oddly, feels brand new.

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